I’ve hit my wall….AGAIN.
I don’ t know how long you go to jail for Doggy-cide buttt…I suppose that’s only if you get caught. Tyson is sending me over the freaking edge and I can tell it’s starting to take effect on me to the point where in my every day life I’m not thinking as many happy thoughts as I usually do. And I don’t know how much longer I can do this again.
Last night was on the phone a little late with Todd (consider all blame placed on him until further notice) and then I start to drift off into a lovely sleep. Allie had gone out with some friends and all was well in my little bedroom. Then I hear what at first I thought might be the dog drinking out of his water bowl. Then I realize that distinct slopping sound had nothing to do with water and with as quiet as he was there was only one answer: he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing.
I went out into the kitchen and there on the floor was his bag of dog food which he had pulled off the stove, eaten through the bag, and started plowing through the food and had gotten a lot accomplished. Behind him was the shredded bag-all that was left of an entire loaf of my bread that had been on the counter. (I now know why the Incredible Hulk tears his shirt…I’m going to need a new bath robe, fyi)
So, I can only say it this way…since PETA may be listening…I nicely placed the dog in the garage….all while LOSING MY SHIT!!!!!!! I cannot do this anymore- CANNOT. I’m so stressed out that my shoulders have not relaxed down past my ears since Wednesday, my stomach is in knots, and of course- last night I didn’t sleep at all because by then it’s close to 10pm and I’m ramped up as hell- thinking about who I can get to drive my getaway car- NOT a good place for this little morning radio DJ to be.
Before this dog came into my life the first time I was a happy little clam, when he left the first time- I was also that same joyful Clam. NOW? I WANT TO BE A CLAM!!
I am so tired of when he comes into the house having to do a mad dash to collect anything that I don’t want covered in the bog slime that drips out of that beast’s mouth on a second to second basis or risk having all my things ruined. Having to place everything that may have even TOUCHED food out of reach of his monstrous size that could more than likely reach the top of the roof if I put a cookie up there.
I hate that he barks all day, follows me around, breathes his sick sick dog breath on me, and makes our house disgusting and smell bad. I hate that his hair looks like pubes and gets all over my clothing that is mostly black and makes it look like I am not a hygienic person or that I have to have to some sort of explanation for that hair.
I hate that my afternoons are no longer my own because I have to spend the whole day shuffling a dog around, feeding him, walking him, moving him from the back yard to inside, to the garage, and back- that I can never just walk out the front door and leave. I hate his big stupid head and how stupid he is and that he never, EVER learns. I hate that I can’t sit on the couch and eat lunch or dinner without having to literally hold his big stupid head a bay with my foot. I HATE THIS DOG!
*Breathes* So…needless to say I will be gratefully taking a small break this weekend and going to Evansville with Ryno. I’m going to spend Easter with her family in a land where pets behave themselves- including Ryan and My child- Miles- who I guarantee won’t be eating my bread- because he has some damn manners.
I know I’ve said a lot of terrible things today…and I don’t take any of them back. However…if anyone would like to adopt Tyson…I will drive him to your house myself and give you the world’s biggest hug.
Also!! SO super excited: Taking Stacie tonight to a Pacer’s game before I head out of town- she, Sara, and I are going to go and meet the players and cheerleaders before the game, she’ll get a signed basketball, and then we get to watch the game. I’m geeked and I know she’s been looking forward to this for weeks. Her mom said yesterday she’s told everyone who has come over to their house and Stacie told me Sunday already that she anticipated not being able to sleep at all on Thursday night because of how excited she is to go. (Well- I didn’t sleep either sister, so we’ll be in the saaaame boat!) LOL Can’t wait!